Maturessence and the Gateway to freedom - part 3
part 3 in my series on the Menopause/Andropause
What is “Essence” and how does it support us in our ageing?
I hope that you enjoyed my two previous blogs on the Menopause and Andropause. In the interim, I have had a conversation with my former student, friend and colleague, Kate Codrington, author of “Second Spring: the self-care guide to menopause ”. You can listen to it on my YouTube channel.
I love the name she choose for our conversation “Inside the Gateway to Freedom”. If you enjoy our conversation, do go over to Kate’s podcast “Life and inside job”.
Maturessence – my new word!
I’ve had some lovely feedback on other names for the andropause and menopause.
Catherine Mangold, one of my Austrian students, shared the German word "Wechseljahre" which translates as years of change/transition/switch. It's always interesting to know what words in other languages mean. Matthew Sincock’s suggestion mirrors this “Mid Life Transformation”. I also like Gillian Farrell’s “Gathering at the Gate” and “Second breath”. But the winner for me is Lisa Krivine’s “ Maturessence” : evocative of so many things. A second adolescence. Maturing of our “Essence”. Becoming “mature”. It is gender neutral. I think this is going to be my new word. What do you think?
What is Essence and why it is so important to nourish ourselves?
In this third blog on the menopause, I look at what our Essence is and how we can support it so we can live well in the second half of our life.
Egg and sperm are expressions of what the Chinese call our “Essence. Essence is used during the menstrual cycle to mature the egg and to clear out the lining of the womb. It is used to nourish a baby in the womb and after birth through breastmilk. Essence is used during ejaculation. But Essence is much more than this. It is our life force or our energetic DNA. When it runs out we die. We inherit it at conception, and so it is strongly influenced by our ancestors, like our DNA, but its nature is constantly influenced by our environment, also like our DNA.
We use our Essence to grow and develop and it supports us in our ageing. This is why at a certain age; we need to care more for our Essence. The quality of our later years depends on how we have lived our life up to this point (post-conception Essence) as well as the Essence that we have inherited (pre-conception Essence). Essence flows in 7 year cycles for women and 8 years for men and is linked closely to the gateways of change. It is circulated in powerful channels called the Extraordinary Vessels.
The Chinese saw the peak flow of Essence in its physical aspect happening around 5 cycles - 35 years for women and 40 years for men. I find it fascinating that modern science recognises this as peak fertility! After this time our Essence shifts away from reproduction towards supporting our ageing body.
Since the quality of our Essence influences us in all aspects of our life, there was a strong emphasis on how to support it. If we take care of ourselves, physically and emotionally, we don’t use our Essence so quickly. This means having sufficient rest, nourishing food, appropriate movement, nurturing relationships, supportive environments and so on.
Essence is stored in our energetic Kidneys, which include our adrenals. Interestingly the Chinese understood that stress depletes it. Modern science also understands how stress affects our hormonal levels and brain functioning.
Why is our Essence often depleted in modern societies?
Modern societies with their focus on productivity, achievement and activity, don’t emphasise enough the need to rest and to nourish our Essence. Rest is seen as more Yin (night) and activity as more Yang (day), and it is important to have a balance between the two. Especially now, with the internet, there are activities for us to do through the whole 24 hour cycle. In traditional societies people would rest when it got dark, and in the winter this meant even more rest – almost hibernation. Constant stimulation is ultimately depleting.
Most people don’t live in tune either with their daily and inner seasonal cycles. For women, the menstrual cycle offers opportunities to connect with an inner seasonal cycle, which changes during the month, but most women are not aware of its rhythms. As we age, we need to change our activities, although, if we are healthy, that doesn’t necessarily mean slowing down excessively, until we reach our 80’s or 90’s, as long as we have appropriate periods of rest.
In addition to this, many people eat nutritionally poor, processed foods and are overweight. This means they are more at risk of the modern diseases of the heart and circulation, high blood pressure, diabetes, osteoporosis and brain related disorders.
Ageing is harder if our Essence is weak – but we can always transform our Essence
If our Essence is already depleted as we enter the gateway of shifting its flow, it is likely to bring up many of the typical symptoms of the menopause. The symptoms tend to be more obvious for women, because it is the ending of a cycle. The main challenges, due to the changes in flow of Blood and hormones are the oft talked about hot flushes, along with skin redness or irritation, night sweats, vaginal dryness and reduced sex drive. Women may also experience disturbed sleep, mood swings, anxiety, depression and confusion. These are all symptoms of depletion of the Penetrating Vessel, which we can support.
We can’t increase our Essence, but we can improve its quality. If we see all these symptoms as signs that something is out of balance in our life, we can make changes. This will take time, and not necessarily be easy. We will need the support of our loved ones. We may realise that those we are close to are not necessarily giving us the support and love we need and decide to end some relationships or friendships.
Even if we feel well, emotionally, this time brings its challenges. We may feel grief for the children we wanted and never had, we may be mourning the loss of our parents who are reaching the end of our lives and dying, our children need us less and may be leaving home.
One issue, I find is much less talked about is shoulder issues. Weakness in the pelvis, including pelvic floor and lower back are often mentioned but less so shoulders. I’ve worked quite a lot with women who have injured their shoulders. I was one of them! Even though my work is giving and teaching shiatsu, which can be nourishing, I had, and to some extent still have, a tendency to push myself too much. I tend to think I am invincible. Riding my bike one day though the park, a dog ran out in front of me. To avoid it I swerved and fell off, damaging my shoulder. It took me the best part of a year to get my mobility back and it was a wakeup call to take more time to look after myself.
Our shoulders are where many of us build up tension, from pushing ourselves forward in life, taking on too many responsibilities. They are connected with the Linking Vessels which I see as like our wings. If we get too blocked we can forget our expansive nature.
Half way through our potential life span, the menopause is a time of reckoning. How we passed through the previous gateways plays a key role. Any unresolved themes and challenges can come back to haunt us. This includes issues from our childhood, even our time in the womb.
We need to find how to support ourselves
We may need to take care of our body differently, physically, emotionally or both. We need to learn how to “mother” ourselves. This may be challenging if, like me, your mother was not able to fully be present for you as a child.
I find the Extraordinary Vessels offer powerful tools to work with all these different levels and use them as the basis for my work. For the ancient Chinese our body holds emotional and physical memories.
Men, as well as women, can draw on the gifts of the phases of the menstrual cycle. It is especially important to still connect with the “Releasing and transforming” phase because there is no longer the physical release of menstruation. Without this release, we have to take even more care of what we put into our body from the outside, physically and emotionally. For men, some amount of ejaculation is helpful, because it has a clearing effect like menstruation. As we age, and may tend to move less, we need to keep strengthening and creating flow in our pelvis. This means supporting our Girdle Vessel.
We need to know how to gather in and nourish ourselves, as in the follicular phase after menstruation, and how to nourish ourselves so we can nurture our projects, as in the early luteal phase. This is about supporting our Penetrating Vessel.
Working to release physical and emotional tension in our shoulders means working with the powerful Linking Vessels. You can open your wings up to fly like a bird and discover new ways of being and new challenges.
I have some exercises for the Vessels and am adding more to the Movement playlist on my YouTube channel.
A gateway into a new role in society – the wise elders of the tribe
These years in the middle of our life may be challenging, but if we are able to face them, we can pass through this gateway, more at peace with ourselves and the world. For the ancient Chinese, the elders had a place in society – wise men and women who would be held in respect.
These days, sadly, many of our elderly live in care homes, where they don’t get enough stimulation to continue to grow and change. They often don’t get enough natural light and dark which are necessary to regulate their circadian rhythms. Sat in front of TV screens they don’t get enough movement. It’s not surprising that we don’t look forward to this kind of future.
Accepting death – the final gateway
Yet, in the end our body will wear out, however much we take care of ourselves. It takes about 7 to 10 years for most of our body cells to be renewed, although they renew at different rates. Yet although our DNA can replicate itself, it doesn’t renew itself. It is changes in our DNA, such as shortening of telomeres, which mean that, as we age, we produce more damaged cells and are less able to repair cells. This makes us more susceptible to disease and eventually we will die. Our Essence will eventually run out.
We need to accept that death is part of life. We are always letting go of something, even if it is as simple as the last moment, the last out breath, so that we are ready to embrace something new with the next in breath. I feel if our society accepted death more as part of life, we could better letter go of our youth and step gracefully into our ageing, in the knowledge that this is a natural part of our life and our journey ultimately to the death of our body and the rebirth of our soul.
I hope you have enjoyed this series of blogs reflecting on our “Maturessence”. Love to have your feedback on this final one and especially to know what you think of “Maturessence”!.
Am wondering now which other gateway to explore next!... Please let me know which one interests you most!